I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
