WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
