i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
