it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
