apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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