ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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