Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
