Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
