yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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