Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
