I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
