Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
