we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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