he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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