so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
