He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
