I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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