I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
