then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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