I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i now understand why vodka
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
