Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
