Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
