strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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