Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
