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I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You're like the curious george of whores
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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