This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
