I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
