the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
How's work?
Spinning.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
