so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
