so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
