yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
