I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
