She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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