Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
