You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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