She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
