HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
