dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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