He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
