Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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