I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
