I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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