Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
