she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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