Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
