So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
