I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
