I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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