I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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