Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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